TITLE: Remnants
AUTHOR: Sunrise
FEEDBACK: sunrize83@gmail.com
CATEGORY: Drama/Angst, Friendship, H/C
PAIRING: None
RATING: PG-13
STATUS: Complete
SEASON/SPOILERS: Legacy
ARCHIVE: Alphagate, Comfort Zone, Stargatefan, Gengate
SYNOPSIS: Janet says Daniel is ready for duty. 
Jack sees things a little differently. 
NOTES: My first dip in the Stargate pool.


*************************

Remnants
By Sunrise


When he first heard the sounds, he was thinking about pizza.

Pepperoni, maybe, or sausage with mushrooms and onions. 
Anything but green peppers or, God forbid, those green olives Sara 
loved. Jack shuddered; he hated olives.

He'd left Carter sitting by the fire, sipping coffee from a dented tin 
cup. Blue eyes bright and alert, she'd bid him goodnight with a grin 
and far more energy than any sane person ought to have at 2 a.m. 
Trudging toward the tent on stiff knees, his stomach had growled, 
and cravings for beer and pizza quickly followed.

Several feet from the tent he pulled up short. Soft, anguished cries 
drifted through the flap, cracked open for ventilation on a muggy 
night. Jack listened to the rustle of restless limbs and incoherent 
mumbling for a moment before slipping quietly inside.

Twin moons provided sufficient illumination for him to crawl to 
his bedroll without knocking anything over. He tugged off his 
boots and sat with elbows propped on his knees, his lips pressed 
together. Watching Daniel. Something he'd been doing a lot the 
past few days.

Nearly a week since Machello's superbugs had come close to 
destroying Daniel's sanity and Teal'c's life. Teal'c's symbiote had 
recovered quickly, leaving him no worse for wear. And once all 
the crap McKenzie had injected cleared Daniel's system, his brain 
chemistry had returned to normal levels. Physically fit and ready 
for duty, Fraiser pronounced--and who was Jack to argue? Their 
current objective, collecting mineral samples from an uninhabited 
planet, was a cakewalk by SG-1 standards. The perfect mission to 
ease everyone back into the water. So to speak.

But Jack had been watching Daniel with different eyes, and he 
wasn't so sure he liked what he saw. A little too thin, a little too 
pale. Shadows under his eyes that might or might not be remnants 
from his stay in Mental Health. All to be expected, Janet would 
say. Perfectly understandable.

What bothered Jack more was the way the archeologist worked in 
relative silence. No grumbling about wasting his time playing 
geologist when he had a stack of translations back at the SGC. No 
rambling tangents or lectures--mining practices in ancient Egypt or 
whatever the hell inane facts rattled around in that brain of his, 
spilling out at the slightest provocation. Daniel didn't *do* silent. 
Until now.

And then there was the incident with Teal'c. Crouched over his 
pack, digging out his journal, Daniel hadn't heard the Jaffa 
approach from behind. When Teal'c tapped his shoulder, Daniel 
had flinched and stumbled backward, hands raised. Jack tried 
telling himself that the archeologist was just startled. That he'd 
imagined the flash of real fear in Daniel's eyes.

All day long he'd ignored the nagging little voice in his head that 
insisted all was not well in Daniel-land. Seeing his friend now, 
Jack realized that for once in his life he'd known better than Dr. 
Janet Fraiser. Unfortunately, he was too busy worrying to feel 
smug.

Stretched on top of his sleeping bag, dead to the world, Daniel 
twitched and moaned, his long-fingered hands curling and flexing. 
Sweat dampened his hair and beaded his upper lip; his eyes darted 
behind closed lids. Jack didn't need to decipher the soft, jumbled 
words; Daniel's pain and distress were written in every line of his 
body.

Jack scrubbed a hand through his hair, unwilling to watch but 
unable to look away. Obviously a nightmare, and a bad one. What 
was it you were supposed to do--wake the sleeper or let them be? 
He grimaced, undecided and irritated with his indecision.

He'd almost convinced himself to let the dream run its course when 
Daniel's garbled words became clear.

"No...get it out...can't...don't leave me...JACK!"

Daniel bolted upright, eyes wide and unseeing. He struggled to 
stand, legs tangling in the bedroll as he crawled toward the tent 
flap. Alarmed, Jack scrambled close enough to grab him around 
the shoulders.

A big mistake.

Daniel went ballistic, arms thrashing, legs kicking. "Let go of me! 
I don't need that. Leave me alone!" His fist caught Jack high on the 
cheekbone, a grazing blow that nevertheless knocked him onto his 
ass.

"For cryin' out loud--DANIEL!" Jack evaded another punch and 
grabbed him in a headlock, gritting his teeth when Daniel clawed 
at his arm. "Wake up. Daniel, WAKE UP!"

Daniel jerked as if zatted, then went limp. "Jack?"

The confused whisper sounded as if it belonged to a lost little boy, 
not his argumentative archeologist. When Jack released his hold, 
Daniel scooted backward, arms wrapped tightly around his chest. 
Despite the stifling warmth inside the tent, he shivered, panting for 
air. "Wh...what happened?"

Jack leaned back, pressing his fingers to his throbbing cheek. 
"What happened is that you tried a few of those new self-defense 
moves on the wrong guy." At Daniel's blank look, he added, "Me. 
You were having a nightmare."

"Oh." Daniel ducked his head and drew his knees up. "Sorry."

"Actually, you were pretty good. No match for me, of course..."

Not a hint of a smile for his weak attempt at humor. Daniel 
nodded, then began fussing with his sleeping bag.

A shadow darkened the tent flap. "Sir? Is everything all right?" 
Sam's quiet question held a sharp edge

"We're fine, Carter. Everything's peachy."

Daniel waited for the crunch of retreating footfalls before 
speaking. "Um...like I said, I'm sorry about...that." He gestured 
vaguely at Jack's face, eyes sliding away to the ground. "I know 
you must be pretty tired, and I've got to relieve Sam in a while 
so..."

So that was how he intended to play it. Jack watched, poker-faced, 
as Daniel made a show of smoothing the bedroll, then stretched out 
with an exaggerated yawn and closed his eyes. "'Night, Jack."

Jack didn't move. He continued to watch, waiting. Sure enough, 
Daniel cracked open one eye.

"Ah...Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"Why are you staring at me?"

"No reason. Just thinking."

The eye shut. Jack waited. This time a scowl accompanied the slice 
of blue. "Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"What exactly are you thinking about?"

"Fraiser."

"Fraiser?" Daniel wrinkled his nose.

"Wondering how you conned her into releasing you for duty. Did 
you lie, or just neglect to mention a few things?"

Daniel sat up, brow furrowed and lips pulled tight. "What the hell 
is that supposed to mean?"

He tamped down his own irritation, keeping his tone gentle and 
patient. "Your nightmare. You were dreaming about Machello's 
little doohickeys."

Daniel's face shuttered, all expression washed away. "I've had 
nightmares since I was a little kid, Jack. This is just one more for 
the collection. Certainly nothing to impact my medical status."

Jack ignored the ice-coated words. "You had a flashback, Daniel. 
You tried running out of here like a hundred Jaffa were on your 
tail. When I restrained you, it triggered a full-blown panic attack. 
Now you tell me--does that sound like someone fit to go off-
world?"

"It's a routine mission--no sign of intelligent life, nothing but trees 
and some possibly useful mineral deposits. We're not in any danger 
here."

"Which is the only reason I'm not hauling your ass back through 
the 'gate right now."

Daniel slumped, his shoulders curling as the anger drained from 
his body. He pressed his forehead to his knees.

Jack massaged the stiff muscles at the back of his neck. The fact 
that he'd won this argument so easily testified more than words to 
Daniel's state of mind.

"You know, Granny O'Neill always said telling someone about 
your nightmare makes it go away."

Nothing.

Daniel didn't move, didn't acknowledge his piss-poor attempt at 
comfort. Jack blew out a long breath, grimacing. Feelings. He tried 
to forget he had them--why couldn't everyone take a page from his 
book?

"Look, I know how you must've felt. I had some of those things in 
me too, remember? It's no picnic to realize you're gradually losing 
it. Hell, Fraiser started doing a strip tease in the lab--something 
that I personally won't let her forget for years to come."

Not even a chuckle.  

"Daniel. Talk to me."

He was ready to throw in the towel, cash in his chips, acknowledge 
that the fat lady was, indeed, singing, when Daniel muttered 
something into his chest.

"What?"

Daniel whipped his head up, eyes blazing. "I said 'You left me,' 
you son of a bitch!"

Ouch.

"Daniel, I couldn't--"

"Couldn't what, Jack? Couldn't bear to be in the same room with a 
guy who'd graduated from 'a little flaky' to 'nuts'? Couldn't spare 
the time to figure out what really might be wrong instead of 
throwing me to McKenzie and his wolves like a piece of fresh 
meat?"

Jack lost his tenuous hold on his patience. "Now wait just a 
minute! That's not--"

Oblivious now, Daniel plowed onward. "'I know how you must 
have felt?' You bastard! By the time those things crawled into you, 
we had a handle on what was happening, knew what to expect. I 
had no fucking clue, Jack. I was seeing things, hearing things out 
of my worst nightmares, and no one would believe me. My sanity 
was slipping through my fingers, and you all stood by while 
McKenzie pumped me full of drugs and locked me away." 

His voice broke and he looked away, blinking hard. "I was scared, 
Jack. I needed you. You always say no one gets left behind. What 
happened?"

Jack closed his eyes, sucker-punched. He licked dry lips. "Truth is, 
I left because I couldn't stand seeing you that way. Being reminded 
how badly I'd failed you. You're right, no one gets left behind. 
I'd've risked my life, done everything in my power to bring you 
back, you gotta know that. But I couldn't find you, Danny. I didn't 
even begin to know where to look."

One corner of Daniel's mouth turned up, but his eyes were sad. "I 
was right in front of you. You just wouldn't see me."

Silence stretched between them, pulled out like taffy. Jack 
remembered how Daniel had folded against the wall in that stark, 
white room.

*"I'm sorry...For being such a headcase."*

Damn it, who was the lost one? His best friend had been crumbling 
to pieces, terrified and yet still trying so hard not to lose Jack's 
respect. He'd told himself it was best he leave, that he was only 
upsetting Daniel. At the time, he'd believed it. Now...

"I'm not Nick." He growled the words through clenched teeth, 
hating the defensiveness.

To his surprise, Daniel smiled. "I know."

"You do?"

Daniel sighed and shrugged. "You came back. Even with Teal'c in 
the infirmary, dying, you came. If you hadn't, I'd still be trapped in 
that place. And Teal'c would be dead."

Jack shook his head, bemused by the generosity. More, he thought, 
than he deserved. "You saved Teal'c, Daniel. You and Carter. I 
didn't do a damn thing."

"You believed me, when no one else would." Daniel arched an 
eyebrow. "Took you long enough, but you got there. Eventually."

Silence again, more comfortable this time. Jack rubbed a hand 
along his jaw, stubble prickling his fingertips. It had to be said.

"Daniel, about the flashback--"

"Dream, Jack. It was a dream. After everything that happened, I 
think I'm entitled--"

"It was more than a dream." 

"Was not."

"Was."

"Was *not*."

"Well when you're dreaming, you've got a helluva right hook!"

They glared at each other. Then Daniel's gaze drifted to Jack's 
cheek and he tucked his chin to his chest, wincing. "Sorry."

"Forget it. Consider it payment past due. But if anyone asks, I'm 
saying I walked into a door." He waited a beat. "Daniel, I'm your 
team leader as well as your friend. And I'm telling you, you've got 
to talk to someone about this."

Daniel's eyes narrowed. "Telling? Or ordering?"

Oh, for cryin'... "Take your pick. Either way, you're not going on 
another mission until I'm certain you've put this behind you."

"Put it be-- Fine. Who do you suggest I have this heart to heart chat 
with, Jack? McKenzie? I know! We can have a little encounter 
group--me, McKenzie, and his friends with the really big needles. 
That way if I become upset, or agitated--"

"All right, all right! I get your point."

He so didn't need this. It was the middle of the damn night and 
time for aging Colonels to be tucked snugly into bed--or whatever 
passed for one off-world. Sometimes dealing with Daniel felt like 
running uphill. Against a stiff breeze. Carrying a ninety-pound 
pack.

And it was worth every ounce of effort. Because he'd never had a 
friend like Daniel Jackson. Somehow a geeky archeologist with 
hayfever had taken out an Air Force colonel. With Special Ops 
training, no less. Daniel had wormed his way into his life, gained 
admittance to parts of Jack O'Neill that *no one* had breached. 
Not even Sara.

And, damn it, if that meant he had to talk feelings, well, he'd suck 
it up and talk. 

"It doesn't matter who. You can talk to Carter or Teal'c." He pulled 
in a fortifying breath. "Hell, you can talk to *me*, Daniel. 
Anytime. I'm right here."

Daniel blinked. The lack of glasses made him look especially 
vulnerable. Or maybe it was Jack's offer. "Yeah?"

Jack palmed the nape of Daniel's neck; gave it a gentle squeeze. 
"Yeah. Not going anywhere."

Daniel pinned him with a laser stare. "Is that a promise?"

Jack smiled. "You betcha."

Ah, what the hell--Jack O'Neill could do feelings with the best of 
them.


End